I'm so fucking centered right now
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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