Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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