his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
