i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
