Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
