So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
