He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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