In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
