I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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