I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
