I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
