Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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