in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize