It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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