I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize