Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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