Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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