he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
