you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
