Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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