getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
