is your mom at the bar?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
