My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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