My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
