my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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