We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
