I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
