Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
