So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
