so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
