He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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