brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
