i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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