i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
