Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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