I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
