You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
