You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
