youre lurking in front of me
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
