He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
