remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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