I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
is wine microwaveable?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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