Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
