Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
