Define "chronic" masturbator.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
