I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize