1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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