It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
