so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Holy shit dude........stairs
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