I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
