I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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